Heartfelt - Blank Pages and Empty Spaces

In Australia six babies are stillborn every day, affecting 2000 families every year. One of these families is Gavin Blue and his partner Kelly, who, in 2006, were told at 32 weeks pregnant that their second child, a daughter Alexandra would not survive.

“Grief never goes away, you just learn to live with it. I catch myself taking a breath in because I know how easily things can go wrong or be taken away.”

After Alexandra’s traumatic birth, they had a confronting session with a hospital photographer and the results were brutal.

Gavin himself is a passionate photographer:

“I love showing people how I see the world. If two people take a photo of the same thing, it will be different because of our individual perspectives.”

He felt there must be a better way, believing such photos should be captured gently and lovingly in a softly-lit environment.

Gavin found out about the Australian Community of Child Photographers (in operation from 2007-2009) and with the help of Sydney photographer Casandra Anguita-Deep used it as inspiration to establish his own organisation, Heartfelt.

Heartfelt is a free service available in Australia and New Zealand for families of stillborn babies, or children with life-threatening conditions. It is the only volunteer-led organisation of its kind, with over 350 volunteer photographers. Heartfelt offers four main services:

photography sessions
inkless hand and foot prints
retouching and softening personal family photos (including removing medical tubes)
preserving pre-digital photos through a partnership with Prolabs.

One of the secrets to Heartfelt’s ongoing success is that it has a narrow management structure, so that it is not solely a person’s passion and drive that keeps an organisation going

In 2021, Monash University studied bereavement photography as a coping mechanism for perinatal loss. 98% of respondents said they would recommend Heartfelt to other families. Results included that such photography helps families:

acknowledge their grief and mourn openly
experience a reduced intensity of grief
keep memories alive
ensure continued bonds with parents, siblings and other family and friends
validate the identity and life story of the infant

Heartfelt have attended over 12,000 photography sessions, assisting 150 families across Australia and New Zealand every month. Every photo aims to capture the essence of the infant and the love surrounding them. Choosing to participate in a Heartfelt session is a deeply personal decision, requiring a delicate conversation with families who are in a swirl of emotion. People who have experienced a loss often feel alone in the intensity of their grief. The bittersweet reality is that 70% of photographers who volunteer with Heartfelt have had a close experience of a loss. Although it is not common practice for the photographer to volunteer their personal experience at a session, there is a shared understanding they have which helps families through the traumatic time. Through a close association with Red Nose Australia, a counsellor is available to volunteers 24 hours a day to talk through any triggering experiences.

For many families the Heartfelt photography keepsake becomes the most important thing they own, and ‘the first thing they would rescue in a fire’. Gavin has heard of many people who have regretted declining a session but has not heard that anyone regretted having the photographs taken. The Heartfelt community have great respect and awe for the strength and courage of families they assist. Everyone processes grief differently (for example, Gavin tells of throwing himself into making himself into making a video of Alexandra to memorialise her) and often this causes friction between couples. Heartfelt photographers are encouraged to show healing and compassion for wherever people are with their grief.

Given that Heartfelt consists solely of volunteers, the sessions are referred to requests because the harsh reality is not every appointment can be attended. If the organisation had more income, Gavin would love to be able to pay the session coordinators who are dedicated to scheduling as many sessions as possible. Services are free of charge for families, meaning Heartfelt relies on an income from $50 membership fees, donations and fundraising. With money from the community Heartfelt were able to:

find an inkless product so that if hand and foot prints are taken, the dust will not stain or be visible in the photographs
donate over 200 cameras, each valued at $865 per kit, and each with an engraving from the sponsor family.

A popular fundraising channel for Heartfelt is ‘Let us run with you’ where teams of at least three people participate in a physical activity such as a community run, with Heartfelt supplying tops customised with the name and birthdate of the infant being honoured. Over 100 people have raised money in this way.

Hospitals have evolved in their acknowledgement of the relationship between birth and grief. There are now dedicated bereavement rooms for families experiencing this loss to have a private space. Heartfelt work closely with hospitals so that the service fits in seamlessly with the operation of the hospital. As part of the partnership, Heartfelt offers in-service educational seminars to nurses and midwives about supporting families and the ways Heartfelt can assist.

As bereavement photography is such a private experience, it was difficult to show materials to families considering whether to request a session. Heartfelt designer Netra Chetty collated a book ‘Stories from the Heart’ profiling generous Heartfelt community members, to help people feel less alone, and act as a resource to show the work of Heartfelt. Carers, social workers, nurses and midwives can also use the book to help families decide whether they would like to engage in a session. Heartfelt’s goal is for the book to be found in every hospital their services are offered.